Let go. We can’t control everything in our lives, and we especially can’t control other people. When things are out of our control, let go.
I have family members who I love, who make choices that worry, sadden, and sometimes frustrate me. But just as I don’t want anyone trying to tell me what to do in my life, others, even though you care about them, have the right to make choices for themselves, even if you don’t agree with those choices or they are self-destructive.
We all have to find our own path. I am often a “worst case scenario” person. I imagine all the worst case scenarios that could possibly happen, even if the situation doesn’t warrant it. Realistically, yes bad things happen, but most of the time they don’t and constantly worrying about it is not helpful in the least. Learning to be emotionally resilient and then just letting go is far more productive than living in constant, paralyzing fear of “worst case” happenings. If your spouse or child don’t answer your phone call or text in the time frame you think they should, it doesn’t mean they’ve had an accident or been thrown in jail. If your co-worker seems a bit distant, they aren’t necessarily upset with you. Start choosing to let go of the worries, fears, frustrations, it just isn’t worth it. Here are just a few tips you can start to practice right now to start letting go.
2. Forgive. I know, it’s hard when someone does something to you or someone you care about and they aren’t in the least remorseful, how do you forgive? The thing is, holding on to the anger just eats away at you, but doesn’t do a darn thing to them. It doesn’t make them sorry, it doesn’t make them change, in fact they may be merrily going on without giving it another thought. Forgiving and letting go is something you do for you, not them. Forgiving doesn’t mean you now have to trust “them”, or like them, it just means you let go of your anger about what happened. If it is someone you care about, you may have to decide whether your overall relationship is worth more than the incident you are upset about.
3. Know you are enough. The way you are today, is good enough. Good enough to be liked, loved and respected and treated with dignity. You don’t need to do one more thing to be good enough for anybody other than you. You need to accept who you are, with all your faults and failings as well as all that is great and unique about you. That is all you can control. We can’t control how others think and behave, they have their own set of circumstances, faults, weaknesses and strengths. Just because someone thinks, says or believes something doesn’t mean it is true or accurate.
So what matters is that you are satisfied with who you are. Now, none of us are perfect and there are surely things we could all work on, but that isn’t the point. The point is, that NONE of us are perfect, including anyone pointing fingers or disparaging us, or intentionally making us feel like we aren’t enough. The point is that wherever we are on our journey we are enough, and the only one that needs to truly believe that is you. So square your shoulders, hold your head high, and remember you are enough.
4. Focus on the good. There is much in the world that could make us cry every day, there is so much that is unfair, unjust, cruel and just heart rending, but to focus on just those things would be very unproductive. When we focus on all the good, it allows us to elevate our perspectives and focus our actions of making the world a better place.
So start today. Start small. Forgive yourself if it takes time. You are great. You are in control. Find something, however small or insignificant and let it go. Give it a wave, a smile and move on.